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What is Self-Care, Really?

A new definition of self-care that centers around love for self and others.

An indoor table with clothing hanging in a cozy setting

Self-Care Products I'm Loving Right Now:


Self-care has taken on a whole new meaning for me. It's shifted from being a buzzword full of selfies with face masks on Instagram to a way of being in life. Self-care for me is defined as what needs to be done in order for me to operate at my best self.

In order to fulfill on this sacred duty, I have to ask myself:

In what way do I want to show up to love others?

When self-care is lacking, I become a real nuisance for others in my life. When I am on my self-care game, I show up as the best version of myself for my friends, family and others. My life takes on a deeper meaning as I am able to practice what I preach to my (soon-to-be, at the time of writing this) little one.

The practice becomes generational in this way... the way I am BE-ing in my life sets a template for the way I want to teach my son how to live, which sets up a template for those he interacts with, etc.

It's really a wave of clean positive energy that can ripple out into whomever you touch.

When you start looking at self-care in this way, you start taking responsibility for your life.

Your life takes on greater and greater meaning as you affect those around you. At least, this is what I have found.

To find what self-care is for you, you can answer these questions:

  • What activities do I partake in that truly bring me joy?

  • What activities do I partake in that bring me relaxation and peace?

  • How can I incorporate those more into my life?

  • What does it feel like when I am fulfilled in my work?

  • Think about the last time you felt overflowing with energy. What did you do that day?

  • What some activities for my body that make me feel energetic and joyful?

  • How long and what is the frequency per week in which I need to do these activities to keep up this positivity?

You don't have to know the answer to these right away. It took me a lot of time of trial and error to find balance (and... I'm still striving for it!) in the practice of self-care. It also took me a lot of time to find what actually worked for me.

Often times, what you need will be different than someone else's needs. Often times what you need is related to your trauma you experienced as a child. Those areas always need more love and tending to.

And they can also be different at different points of time in your life. Just as everything else is evolving around you... YOU as a human being are too! :) Don't forget that.

Here are some of my favorites for my personal self-care:

  • Monthly massages (bi-weekly as budget allows)

  • Writing this blog & my newsletter brings me energy and joy

  • Spending quality, phone-free time with my husband watching shows

  • Putting a fresh face of makeup on daily

  • Experiencing the senses of new beauty products for the first time (linked above!)

  • Cleaning. A clean, healthy home always brings me back into my center. Even the act of cleaning releases dopamine -- any fellow cleaners out there?

  • Taking a really hot shower (or bath if I've gone too long without self-care and feeling low)

  • Keeping up on my daily supplement of magnesium (see favorite magnesium glycenate)

  • Relaxing and doing No-Thing

It's up to you to begin seeing how your actions affect your energy, which in turn affects everyone around you. From there, it is my hopes that you will start prioritizing your energy, creating sacred space for yourself and developing healthy ways of being in the world.

Because, lord knows you deserve it after all!

Mucho love on your journey,

Lauren S.


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